


Desperation of Love

by The Neon Gang (clgfanfic)



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnificent Seven AU: ATF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 12:38:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clgfanfic/pseuds/The%20Neon%20Gang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally published in the zine Seven Card Stud #12.  This is the slash version of the M7 gen story "Desperation."</p>
    </blockquote>





	Desperation of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the zine Seven Card Stud #12. This is the slash version of the M7 gen story "Desperation."

 

          _The old man gazed down into the boy's large blue eyes, which were imploring him to produce a miracle.  "Vin, come sit," he said kindly, walking over and patting the bench of an old picnic table._

_The boy scuffed his way over, reluctant, but climbed up and settled beside the older man.  He straddled the bench like he was sitting on a pony's back, his small, dangling feet kicking in frustrated arcs while he stared belligerently at the frayed holes in the knees of his jeans._

_"Is Toby dead?" the boy demanded._

_"I don't know."_

_"What if he's hurt?" Vin asked, pulling on a loose piece of wood.  "He's waitin' for us t' find 'im."_

_"Vin, have I told ya about the Comanche Healing Lake?"  The child shook his head, refusing to look interested, but his feet stilled and the old man knew he had the boy's attention.  "Mmm," he said.  "I thought I had, but it's a good day to tell a story…"_

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Thursday, 1845 Hours

 

          The five men hurried into the hospital waiting room, their gazes seeking out the lone occupant.  The comfortable furniture and subdued colors surprised them.  They found him standing near a corner, leaning against the wall and staring out a large picture window.  They crossed the thick carpet, joining him in the rapidly fading light of dusk.

          "Vin?" Josiah called quietly.

          Tanner turned to face them and Nathan took an immediate step backward.  Vin was… different somehow.  His eyes narrowed as he studied the younger man.  Vin looked well-rested; his eyes were bright and there were no dark circles beneath them.  This was a marked improvement over the last time they had seen him at the hospital in Denver, or out there in the wilderness.

          _When was Denver?_ Nathan wondered.  _Two days ago?_   Had everything really happened that fast?

          The stress lines around Vin's eyes and mouth were gone, too.  And he was definitely more relaxed, moving more fluidly…  "Your shoulder," he said suddenly.  "How is it?"

          "Fine," Vin replied, quickly turning back to the window.[1]

          Tanner was hiding something, but what?  Nathan exchanged a look with Josiah and the big profiler shrugged, as confused by what he was seeing as Nathan was.

          The former medic's examination continued.  In profile Vin looked… _younger_ , he decided.  _Yeah, definitely younger.  But how is that possible after what he's been through recently?_

          Reaching out to Vin, Buck rested his hand on Tanner's arm, saying, "Why didn't you tell us where you were going?"

          Tanner's head dipped.  "There was no time," he explained quietly, the words haunted by his fear of what might have been.  "He was dyin'.  There was nothin' anyone could do.  I thought…"  He trailed off, shaking his head.  "There was one more possibility, but I didn't want t' raise anyone's hopes.  It was… impossible."

          "Vin, we've all seen you pull off the impossible a time or two.  You know we probably would have gone along with what you wanted," Josiah told him.  "You should've known that."

          Vin shifted his weight enough to meet the big man's eyes.  "It was somethin' I had t' do alone, J'siah."

          "Why here?" JD asked, looking around at the facility.  "I mean, where did you take him?" he asked, wanting to hear Vin explain the legend Ezra had told them about.  Was it really possible?  Could something like that still happen in the modern world?

          Vin's lips pressed into a thin line, telling JD he wasn't getting an answer.  At least, not right now.

          "Never mind," JD said, leaning forward to give him a quick hug.  "I'm just glad you're both okay.  You are okay, aren't you?"

          Vin's cheeks and ears turned a darker shade of red.

          "Vin?" Nathan questioned.

          He nodded.  "I'm fine."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

**Monday, October 30, 2000**

**0700 Hours**

 

          Chris followed Buck as closely as he could, wishing for the umpteenth time that Vin was with them.  The sniper he'd borrowed from Team Three knew exactly what he was doing, but Larabee didn't feel as safe as he usually did, without Vin there to watch his back.

          They moved down along the weathered wall of a large barn, pausing at the end before crossing to the cover of several smaller equipment sheds.  When they reached the last of the buildings, Buck and Chris stopped.  Across a short, open space was a hothouse Larabee guessed was as big as a good-sized airplane hangar.  It was constructed out of a simple wooden frame covered with green, corrugated plastic sheeting, the roof made from more of the same green material.

          "Everyone in position?" the blond asked into the lip-mic he was wearing.

          He received affirmatives from his team, the sniper, and the other members of Team Three who were there to provide backup.

          "Three, we'll let you know as soon as it's clear," he added.

          "Looks like the last of the trucks is leaving, over," came Josiah's voice into Larabee's ear.

          "Roger that," Chris replied, just able to make out the distant growl of a diesel engine as the vehicle rumbled down the nearby access road.

          Larabee paused, letting the sound fade completely away.  He glanced at Buck, who nodded that he was ready.  "Okay," the ladies' man said, "now we wait until Brubaker and his guys show…"

          Chris nodded.  He hated this part of the mission – the waiting.  But, if it netted them Brubaker and his merry band of white supremacists, it would be well worth it.  Ezra was sure he'd sealed the deal…

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Monday, 0745

 

          Larabee leaned back against a beat-up old pickup truck, trying not to fidget as he continued to wait.  He and Buck scanned the area, their weapons ready in case of trouble.  Ezra and Brubaker were finally inside the hothouse, bickering over the last details of the sale.  But, they had to wait until the money actually exchanged hands.

          A sudden explosion at the far end of the hothouse prompted both him and Buck to dive for cover along the side of the equipment shed, but they immediately came up on their knees, weapons ready.  There was still no one between them and the hothouse.

          "We have contact," Nathan's voice announced over the communications units they all wore.  "Moving in."

          "Everybody move!" Chris snapped.  "Ezra, report!"

          A second explosion and the low growl of the agents' automatic weapons filled the air.  The melee lasted 96 seconds, according to Larabee's watch.

          "We have the building," Buck announced over the com-link.

          "Exterior is also secure," the borrowed sniper reported.

          "Roger that," Chris replied.  "Team Three, set a perimeter.  We have structural damage, and it looks like they've booby-trapped the structure, so everybody be careful."

          "Roger that," the Team Three commander, Neal Chaves, replied.

          "Ezra, you all right?" Larabee asked again.

          "I am unharmed," the undercover man said over his own com-unit.

          Chris sighed with relief and glanced around at the devastated structure.  Plants and soil dusted the twisted pieces of corrugated plastic sheets torn free by the explosion.  Sprinklers sputtered here and there, spitting out a fine mist that added to the humidity.  The rich smell of mulch hid the stench of blood.

          Chris carefully picked his way through the debris, searching for clues to the militia group's activity, but he didn't spot anything obvious.

          Stepping around a shattered table that had held trays of orchids, he spotted something in a pile of potting soil.  "Nathan," he called.

          Jackson, directing the cleanup effort nearby, broke away to join the man.  "Yeah, Chris?"

          "What do you make of that?" Larabee asked, pointing.

          Nathan leaned closer, examining several plastic bags floating in the middle of a pool of water that had collected from the overhead sprinklers.  "Looks like they were hiding the grenades in bunches of the bulbs, doesn't it?"

          "Looks like," Larabee agreed, nodding.

          "Maybe they planned to pass them at the big home and garden show at the convention center?" Nathan speculated.

          "I'll see if Ezra has any ideas on that," Chris replied.

          Leaving Nathan to continue his work, Larabee wandered farther into the building, side-stepping to avoid a shower, compliments of a broken plastic sprinkler pipe.  As a result, he bumped into another splintered table, cursing and throwing himself away from the table when he saw the booby trap.

          To Chris' mind, the explosion took place in a weird kind of slow motion.  Wood, dirt, and plants erupted past him in a kaleidoscope of color.  A rainbow shower of flower petals was the last thing he saw before the blackness engulfed him.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

_Vin watched his grandfather from the corner of his eye.  Normally one of the old man's tales would enthrall the boy, but today it couldn't hold his attention.  He wanted to find Toby, and telling stories wasn't going to help do that._

_The large retriever mix really belonged to his grandfather, but Vin considered the dog his, and when Toby had failed to greet the six-year-old when he'd crawled out of bed that morning, the search had started.  It was now nearing lunchtime, and, while his grandfather droned on, Vin was getting scared._

_What if a coyote had found Toby?_

_What if Toby had tried to tree a bobcat?_

_What if someone driving through had seen him and stopped, and Toby had climbed into their car?  Toby liked everyone._

_"Vin?"_

_"Huh?"_

_His grandfather's eyebrows climbed slightly, a sign of his amusement.  "I asked you if you knew where the animals go when they get hurt."_

_Vin shook his head, his overlong blond hair spilling across his forehead and eyes._

_"They find the Healing Lake and then they walk out into the water.  It's water so blue it's purple, just sitting out there in the grasslands.  And the water heals all their wounds."_

_"You think Toby's hurt?" he asked, hoping to get his grandfather back on track at last._

_The old man stood and brushed off his pants.  "Come over here with me, Vin."_

_The boy slid off the bench and trailed after his grandfather as he headed into the tangled brush of a hillside.  Stopping next to the man, he started at the blood-splattered leaves.  Tangled among the curling leaves and dust was Toby's faded, green leather collar._

_Vin squatted down and picked it up, the long-expired licenses jingling.  "What happened t' him, Grandpa?"_

_"I'm not sure, Vin," the old man said, letting his hand rest lightly on the boy's head.  "Looks like someone might 'a thought Toby was a coyote, or maybe a deer, and took a shot at him."  He pointed to the drops of blood on the leaves and the small bullet hole in a nearby tree trunk._

_"He's dead, isn't he?" Vin asked, already feeling the hot tears filling his eyes.  He knew his grandfather must have found this spot earlier, but he hadn't wanted to tell him about it, so he'd tried to distract him with the story._

_"I don't know," his grandfather said.  "But I reckon he's off lookin' for the lake, and if he finds it, he'll be fine."_

_"But you said the lake's far away.  What if Toby gets lost?  What if he can't find it?"_

_"The lake will call him to it."_

_"What if he finds it 'n' then gets lost comin' home?"_

_The old man dandled the boy's hair.  "Good question.  I guess the best thing we can do now is call his spirit back."_

_"How do we do that?"_

_The old man steered the boy back toward the small house.  "First, we go eat the lunch Mrs. Dumas has got waitin' for us.  To build up our strength," he added quickly when Vin opened his mouth to protest.  "Then we'll go out to that old stump Toby likes to sleep next to, and we'll call him."_

_"Y' mean like we have been – callin' his name?"_

_"No," his grandfather said, reaching down to scoop the boy up.  He tossed him over his shoulder like he was a small sack of potatoes.  "We'll call to him in our heads.  No words."_

_"Like talkin' t' yerself?"_

_"Yep, just like that."_

_"An' Toby c'n hear us?"_

_"If he found the lake and healed himself."_

_"What if he couldn't find the lake?"_

_"He'll still hear us, but he won't be able t' come home."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because he'll be chasin' squirrels in the Spirit Land."_

_"But I want him t' come home."_

_"I know you do, Vin."_

_"If I call real loud, will he hear me better?"_

_"There's no loud or soft, Vin, just callin'."_

_"Oh…."_

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

**Federal Building**

**Monday, 1000 Hours**

 

          Vin sat behind his desk, looking out one of the large windows.  Outside it was a nice day and he had a decent view of the mountains from the eleventh floor window.  It was all so… _normal_ , he decided.

          Two weeks…  It felt more like two months.  But, he still had a career, even if it was behind a desk – _for the time being_ , he silently vowed.

          _Could've been worse.  At least I'm still on the team_ , he reminded himself.

          He felt a twinge of jealousy over the fact that he'd been so easily replaced, and he glanced at the picture sitting on the corner of his desk – a group shot of the Team Seven members – him, Chris, Josiah, Nathan, Buck, JD and Ezra – out at the ranch.

          God, he missed them.  He still saw them on a daily basis, but it wasn't the same as working with them out there…  His gaze returned to the peaks in the distance.

          He shook his head.  He'd let himself get too involved.  _Way_ too involved.  He knew better.  Any of them could get killed or hurt, and, damn it, he was _supposed_ to be the first.  But knowing that didn't cut his anger or his pain.

          His phone rang and he picked it up, his gaze automatically checking for the extension.  "What can I do for y', Bucklin?"

          "Vin–"  The ladies' man's voice caught.

          Vin leaned forward, his gaze locking on the photo.  Everyone was smiling…  "Buck, what's wrong?"

          "It's Chris…  He's been…  He's been hurt."

          "How?  Where?  I wasn't–"

          "They're on their way to Summit now –Flight for Life chopper.  Nathan's with him. Wh–"

          "I'll meet y' at the hospital."

          "Was hoping you would.  It's bad, Vin, real bad.  I…  I don't think he's going to make it…"

          "Like hell he won't," Tanner snapped.  "He'll be fine."

          "Not this time, Vin.  He's–"

          "I've got t' go," Tanner said to cut the man off.  He didn't want to hear the truth, he already knew what it was; he could feel it in his heart.

          "We'll be there as soon as we can," Buck said, but Vin had already hung up.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

_In his bed, Vin waited until he heard his grandfather settle down at the kitchen table with the evening newspaper before he crawled out of bed and made his way to his bedroom window.  He carefully lifted it, inserting the stick that he used to prop it open on hot nights.  He paused again, listening, but all he could hear was the occasional squeak of the kitchen chair and the swish of pages being turned._

_He picked up his sack and slipped silently out the window, dropped to the ground, and headed into the woods.  He just knew Toby was in trouble, and he was going to find him._

_When he was far enough away from the cabin that he couldn't see it anymore, he pulled the flashlight out of the old flour sack he was carrying.  It was full of everything he'd need to find Toby – a flashlight, an old biscuit in case Toby was hungry, the dog's collar, a length of twine to serve as a leash, and a slice of corn bread, in case he got hungry._

_Shining the narrow beam of light into the dark, he headed north, hoping to find Toby on his way home from the Healing Lake._

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

**Monday, 1130 Hours**

 

          Vin stalked across the waiting room, joining Nathan.  "What the hell happened?" he demanded.

          "Brubaker had booby traps set in the hothouses.  Chris accidentally tripped–"

          "Why weren't the traps–"

          "Vin, he was looking for something to tell us what Brubaker's target might be."

          Vin turned to glower at the Black man.  "Damn it, I–"

          "Look, before you go ballistic on me here, understand that we had the building secured, but there was structural damage.  We had to move quickly, before the whole damned thing came crashing down on top of us."

          Vin sucked in a deep breath, forcing his anger back.  "Okay," he said.  "Sorry, Nate, I wasn't there…  Is everyone else okay?"

          "Ezra and a couple of Team Three have some nasty wood and fiberglass splinters, but they'll be fine."

          "What's wrong with Chris?" Vin forced himself to ask.

          Nathan's gaze immediately dropped to the carpet.  "He, uh…"

          "Damn it, Nathan, tell me what's going on!" Vin snapped.

          "The explosion…  It looked like some severe skull damage."  Jackson fell silent as a stranger stepped into the waiting room.

          Vin turned.

          "Agent Jackson?"

          Nathan stepped forward, meeting the doctor as he joined the two men.  "How is he?" he asked.

          "Come with me," the doctor directed.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          Vin and Nathan settled onto the edges of two chairs that were set up across from the physician's desk.

          "I'm Dr. Randell, Mr. Larabee's primary physician."

          "How is he?" Vin demanded.

          Dr. Randell leaned forward, resting his weight on his elbows.  "I'm sorry, but there isn't an easy way to say this…  Mr. Larabee is brain-dead."

          "What?"  Vin slid back, needing all the support the chair offered.

          "The explosion damaged Mr. Larabee's frontal lobe.  His body is still working – there was no damage to the brain stem – but he's never going to wake up."  Dr. Randell stood and stepped around the edge of the desk.  "According to his files, he's requested no heroic measures… therefore, we haven't placed him on a respirator…"

          "How long?" Nathan asked, not liking the sudden paleness that had taken over Vin's face.

          "I really can't say."

          "And there's nothing you, or anyone, can do?" Nathan pressed.

          Dr. Randell shook his head.

          Nathan stood and extended his hand to the doctor, who shook it.  "Thank you."

          "I wish it was better news."

          "Me, too," Nathan replied.

          The doctor looked down at Vin, then back at Nathan.  "I'll, uh, leave you here until you're ready."

          Nathan nodded.  "I appreciate that."  He waited until the physician had left, then turned to Tanner.  "Vin…"

          The younger man stood, his entire body shaking slightly.  "Gotta get some air," was all he said before bolting out the door and disappearing down the hallway.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

**Monday, 1230 Hours**

 

          "Ohmygod," Buck breathed, his knees going weak.

          Vin wrapped his arm around the ladies' man's shoulders, helping him over to sit down and wincing as the man's weight ripped through his shoulder.

          "What do we do?" Wilmington asked.

          Nathan stepped up closer.  "Chris always said he wanted to be an organ donor if–"

          "No," Vin snapped.

          Josiah glanced over at the man.  "Vin–"

          "I said no."  Turning, Tanner stalked out of the waiting room.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

_Vin crouched down in the darkness, his back pressed against a tree trunk.  Above him, an owl eyed him curiously.  The low whine sounded again._

_The dim flashlight beam flashed over the bushes, teasing out mysterious shadows that tickled the boy's fear.  He scrambled to his feet when he saw the tawny-colored lump._

_"Toby?" he called softly, forcing himself over to the lump._

_The dog looked up, his tail thumping a greeting.  Vin dropped down and gave Toby a hug.  "I knew I could find ya," he told the Lab._

_Toby whined._

_Using the flashlight, Vin checked the dog over, finding the blood and wound where he'd been shot in the side._

_"Y' haven't found the lake yet?" he asked the dog.  "Y' gotta find the Healing Lake, Toby.  Now."_

_Standing, he dug through the sack, taking out the collar and the twine.  Replacing the dog's collar, he knotted the twine on the metal D-ring, and tried to lead Toby off, but the dog refused to move._

_"Come on, Toby," he urged._

_The dog whined again, his tail thumping in the dirt._

_Vin sighed heavily.  Reaching into the sack, he took out the old biscuit and the corn bread.  Toby's head came up and he sniffed.  "Hungry, boy?" he asked, handing the dog the biscuit._

_Toby sniffed the offering, then took it and ate while Vin finished off the corn bread.  The sack empty, Vin laid the flashlight down and spread the sack on the ground.  That done, he carefully maneuvered Toby onto the cloth.  Then, picking up the flashlight, he shoved it under his belt so the light shone down on his feet.  He grabbed the corner of the sack and pulled, but he couldn't see where he was going well enough._

_He sat down to think._

_Untieing the twine from Toby's collar, he tied the ends of the thin rope to the two corners of the sack, then put the twine over his shoulders.  That done, he stood and tried again.  This time, he was able to drag Toby along on the sack, using the flashlight to illuminate his way, and only stopping from time to time to retie the twine when it pulled free._

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

**Tuesday, 0600 Hours**

 

          Sitting there, staring at Chris lying in his hospital bed, Vin made his decision.  Reaching for his cell phone, he called an old friend from his Army days.

          "Hey, Chance, it's Vin Tanner…  Yeah, I know, too long.  Look, I don't know how else to say this, but I need a favor – no questions asked…  Appreciate it…  I need a chopper flight as quick as you can get here…  Denver.  Summit Hospital.  They've got a life-flight pad…  If you can make it sooner, I'd appreciate it…  Okay, see you then…  Yeah, 'bout as important as it get – life and death."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Tuesday, 0830 Hours

 

          Josiah walked into Chris' room, coming to an abrupt halt when he saw the empty bed.  Spinning, he hurried out, waylaying the first nurse he passed in the hall.

          "Where's Chris Larabee?" he demanded.

          The nurse looked confused.  "Pardon?"

          "Chris Larabee, the patient in room 111."

          "I'm afraid I don't know.  Check at the nurses' station.  I'm sure they can help you."

          Josiah reined in his rapidly fraying emotions and headed for the semi-circular counter.  "Excuse me, but where is Chris Larabee?"

          A middle-aged Black woman sitting behind the counter looked up from her work.  "Room 111?"

          Josiah nodded.

          "He was checked out by Mr. Tanner about twenty or thirty minutes ago."

          "What?"

          "I'm sorry, that's all I know," the woman said, her sour expression telegraphing her opinion of the situation.

          "Thank you," Josiah said, already turning.  What the hell was going on?

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Tuesday, 0945 Hours

 

          "I want an answer, and I want it _now_ ," Buck growled, looking at the other five men.  "If one of you knows _anything_ , I want to hear it – right now."

          Ezra shifted uncomfortably.  "I am afraid Vin did not tell me where he was going."

          Buck stomped over to stand in front of the undercover man.  "Ezra," he said, redirecting his ire, "I want an explanation!  Where's Chris?"

          Standish shook his head, his hands coming up in a placating gesture.  "I honestly don't know."

          "What _do_ you know?" Nathan demanded.

          "This isn't helping anyone," Josiah said, trying to smooth the ruffled feathers.  "Let's just talk this out like the friends we all are."  He gestured for them to sit, and they did.

          Ezra settled onto a chair, wondering if he'd escape with his skin intact.  "This is all I know.  Vin checked Mr. Larabee out around eight this morning.  He took him up to the life-flight pad on the roof–"

          "Life-flight?" Buck echoed.

          "There was a chopper…"

          "A chopper!?" Buck bellowed.  "Why?  Doesn't he understand that–"

          "He knows, brother," Josiah interrupted.  He held Buck's eyes until the man finally nodded.

          Buck looked at JD.  "Find out where that chopper went," he said, sounding much calmer.

          The younger man gave a nod and stood.  "Uh, somebody'll call me if…?"

          "We'll call you," Josiah assured him, then looked around at the others.  "Although, we might as well go back to the office with him; there's nothing more we can do here."

          For a moment it looked like Buck might argue, but then the ladies' man sighed and nodded his agreement.  With Chris gone, there really wasn't any reason for them to stay at the hospital.

          They stood, Nathan looking at Ezra and asking, "Why did you let them go?"  He didn't really expect an answer, but he'd had to ask.  "With his shoulder… Vin can't take care of Chris…  He has to know that.  I just don't understand."

          "I don't know what the hell he thinks he's doing," Buck grumbled, but he fell silent when Ezra finally replied to Nathan's question.

          "It was his expression," the undercover man said.  "It was– It– I couldn't have stopped him, even if it had cost me my life; that look…"

          Josiah gently rested his hand on the man's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  "I think we understand," he said softly, and even Buck had to sigh and nod.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

**Wednesday, 0915 Hours**

 

          Vin pulled the rented camper over, parking alongside the road, deep in the Comanche National Grasslands.  He hadn't been back here since he'd lived with his grandfather, just over the border in Oklahoma…  It was more than a lifetime ago, as far as he was concerned.

          A crisp breeze swept down the empty road, carrying with it the rushing sound of the wind sweeping through the short-grass prairie.  Walking to the back of the truck, he opened the camper door and climbed inside.  Larabee lay on the bed.

          Vin took a deep breath, suddenly unsure of his decision.  His chances were slim…  Hell, they were _impossible_.  But there was nothing left for him to do, and he just couldn't lose the man…

          Sitting down, he quickly put together the rig he would use to carry Chris.  By the time he was finished, his shoulder throbbed painfully.

          Carefully slipping the rig under Chris' body, Vin paused to check his light field kit, then tugged the man up so he was sitting up in the bed.  He then sat down in front of Larabee, reached around and slid the straps over his bad shoulder, then his good one, and snapped the latch on his chest shut.  With a grunt, he stood, grabbed the field kit, and climbed out of the camper.  Closing the door, he headed into the hills, Chris on his back like an oversized infant in a back sling.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Wednesday, 1220 Hours

 

          "What've you got?" Buck asked, joining the others who were already gathered at JD's desk.

          "Okay," JD said, taking a deep breath, "the chopper landed in Springfield, Colorado, and Vin rented a truck with a camper there.  I contacted the Colorado State Patrol and the truck was found, abandoned, along a road in the Comanche National Grasslands."

          "Where is that?" Ezra asked, confused.

          "The middle of nowhere," JD replied.  "It was a couple of park rangers who were checking some of their remote stations who found it and called it in.  This wasn't a main road."

          "Lucky for us they found it," Josiah said.

          "Where are Chris and Vin?" Buck asked.

          "No clue," JD replied.  "The truck and camper were both empty."

          "You don't think…" Buck started, trailing off.  "I mean…"

          "What?" Nathan asked.

          "You don't think Vin's got some crazy notion about burying Chris out there someplace, do you?" the ladies' man asked.

          "That seems a bit extreme, even for Mr. Tanner," Ezra replied.

          "Sounds to me like he's taking Chris somewhere," Josiah said.

          "Any clue where?" Nathan asked him.

          Josiah shook his head, running his hand over his graying hair.  "It has to be an Indian thing…  Isn't that the area where he lived with his grandfather?  He was part Comanche and Kiowa, right?"

          "So, you think he's taking Chris to see a medicine man or something?" JD asked.

          "I don't know," Josiah said, shaking his head.  "But we're not going to find out sitting here."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

_Toby whined and Vin stopped.  Dawn shone dimly through the landscape, casting faint orange-lavender shadows across the canyonlands.  The dog stood on trembling legs and started off into the undergrowth. Vin followed, his stomach rumbling.  He was tired, thirsty and very hungry.  He was also lost._

_"Toby!"_

_The dog barked, and the boy followed the sound, hoping Toby knew where he was going._

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Wednesday, 1230 Hours

 

          The first fifteen minutes were tolerable, but then the gnawing ache began in Vin's shoulder, refusing to subside, escalating with each step he took deeper into the hills.  After several hours, each step through the rough terrain sent stabs of red-hot agony piercing through the man's injured shoulder.  But he gritted his teeth and forced himself on, putting one foot in front of the other.  Sweat rolled down into his eyes, finally forcing him to use his bandanna in order to see.

          Chris rested limply against his back.  Occasionally, his bandaged head bumped against the back of Vin's neck, urging him on despite the almost blinding agony.

 _Hang on, Chris_ , he thought.  _Please_.

          Then, catching himself as he started to slip on the loose dirt, Vin tried to swallow a cry, tears immediately filling his eyes.

          Finding a rock, he squatted so Chris was basically sitting on the rough surface, relieving the pressure on his shoulders.  Vin's hands shook uncontrollably as he tried to lift the straps off his shoulders.  Hunger and thirst demanded his attention, but he knew he could neither eat nor drink, and he still had to find what he needed.

          He just had to keep going, without food, without water and without anything for the pain.  There was no other choice.  He had to continue, no matter what.  It was the only hope he had to bring back the man he loved.  He couldn't give up, wouldn't.

          In the distance, he heard birds calling and he looked up, scanning the skies for the source.  Off to the west, he spotted the birds.

          "Okay, Chris, here we go," he hissed, standing and taking the unconscious man's weight back onto his shoulders.

          Sagging under the weight, Vin shuffled slowly toward the west.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

_Vin stumbled after Toby; above them, wild ducks circled, quacking down at the pair._

_The boy tripped and fell.  On his hands and knees, Vin stared down at the cougar tracks pressed into the dirt._

_Scrambling to his feet, he saw the wild ducks and pigeons along the edge of a purple lake.  Frogs sang, and he could hear fish breaking the surface, looking for a morning meal._

_Toby trotted straight into the water and lay down, disappearing from the neck down.  He panted happily as a duck swam past, ignoring the interloper._

_Stumbling to the edge of the water, Vin stood and clapped his hands.  "Toby.  Come here, Toby."_

_A moment later, the dog bounded over to the boy, shaking himself and then jumping up and knocking Vin down._

_Vin giggled as Toby snuffled and licked his face.  "Toby!" he scolded, but the dog ignored him._

_Giving the dog a hard squeeze, Vin sighed and said, "You found it, boy.  You found the Healing Lake."_

_The Lab ran off, barking._

_"Toby!" he called, chasing after the dog for several steps, but then he stopped and turned.  The lake was gone, an empty field of short prairie grass having taken its place.  And, above him, the birds were winging away in all directions._

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Wednesday, 1550 Hours

 

          The ducks circled above him as Vin shuffled forward as best he could.  The sun hung low on the western horizon, the light playing tricks.  He sucked in a rattling breath and fell to his knees when his legs refused to carrying him forward another step.  Tilting his head back, Vin sobbed.  He couldn't go on.  He couldn't even get back on his feet.

          He leaned heavily to the side, his hand slipping on a ridge in the dirt.  Blinking back the tears of pain, frustration and hopelessness, he stared at his fingers.  They rested in the depression of a cougar paw print…

          His head snapped up.  Several feet away, deep purple water lapped quietly, ducks swimming silently across the still surface.

          "God," he breathed, "please… just a couple… more… steps.  Please…"

          With a tormented groan, he freed the latch, letting Chris drop back onto the ground.  As fast as his fumbling fingers could manage, Vin removed the web rig from himself and Larabee.

          Then, forcing himself to his feet, Vin bent over the blond, scooping the unconscious man into his arms.  With what little strength he had left, Tanner lifted the man, crying out loudly as he did.  Chris' heels bumped in the dirt, Vin's bad shoulder unable to support the man's weight.

          But it didn't matter.  He had Chris in his arms and he was on his feet.

          He forced his feet to move, crying out again as he felt the ligaments and muscles tearing away from bone in his shoulder.  He gulped in air, the tears streaming from his eyes making it impossible to see where he was going.

          Vin stumbled blindly into the water, only vaguely aware that it was warm.  His legs were giving way again, the two of them falling into the water…

          Vin sobbed as he felt the limp body in his arms slipping free of his weak grasp.

          "Chris…" he called.

          He rubbed at his eyes and saw Larabee floating faceup just out of reach in the calm, deep purple water.

          The warm liquid surrounded and buoyed Chris, which was good, because as determined as Vin was to ensure that his lover's face didn't slip beneath the smooth surface of the lake, Vin felt himself being pulled down, his knees finally refusing to hold him even halfway up.  He felt his face break the surface, his eyes closing as he sank into the darkness.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

_"Vin!"_

_"Over here, Grandpa!"_

_The old man pushed through the brush, scooping the boy up into a tight hug.  "Where have you been, boy?" the old man demanded._

_"Toby," Vin said by way of explanation.  "I found Toby."_

_Hearing his name, the Lab barked._

_"He was shot."_

_The old man petted the dog's head.  "Looks fine now."_

_"We found the Healing Lake, Grandpa!  It fixed him!"_

_"You did, did you?"_

_His grandfather chuckled and Vin gave him a defiant scowl.  "It's true!"_

_Eyeing the boy, the old man considered the child's words, then grew serious as he thought back to the blood he'd found earlier.  "Well, then, that's very special.  We better get home."_

_"But the lake," Vin said, pointing back the way he'd come._

_"It'll be there.  Right now, I think Mrs. Dumas has got a stack of hotcakes waiting for us."_

_"I'm hungry," Vin announced, settling down against his grandfather's shoulder._

_Three steps closer to home and the boy had fallen fast asleep._

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Wednesday, 2030 Hours

 

          "There," JD called.

          The ladies' man nodded, already braking to slow down.  A moment later, he pulled Josiah's Suburban off the road to park behind the state patrol car.

          JD turned in the passenger seat to wake the other men, saying, "Hey, guys, we're here."

          Josiah, Nathan and Ezra each woke and stretched, easing the kinks.  They climbed out and walked over to join the patrolman who was waiting for them.  Across the road, there were two forest service vehicles.

          The patrolman waited until they identified themselves and showed him their badges before he said, "Forest service guys are looking for your friends now.  They said it looks like Tanner carried Larabee into the woods."

          "Carried?" Nathan echoed.  "That's impossible.  Vin's shoulder–"

          "He's not going to give a damn about his shoulder," Josiah said quietly.

          "Did they have any idea where he's going?" JD asked.  "I can't find anything in this area.  No towns, no communities, nada."

          "I don't know what the hell he's looking for, but we're damn well going to find out," Buck said, turning to start off.

          Josiah reached out to stop him.  "The rangers will call if they find something.  And we're going to have to wait for first light before we go after them or we'll just end up getting lost out there."

          "Damn it, Josiah, Chris might–"

          The big profiler held up his hand.  "I know that as well as you do, but don't you think Chris would rather die out here than in a hospital?"

          Buck sighed heavily.  "Yeah, I know he would, but–"

          "Wait, I think I know where Mr. Tanner might be going!"

          The men all turned to stare at Ezra.  Buck shook his head.  "Damn it, Ezra, you said–"

          "I didn't lie to you; Vin didn't tell me where he was going, but when JD mentioned the Comanche National Grasslands…  I kept thinking that I had heard that somewhere before.  Then someone mentioned Vin once lived near here…  I couldn't place it, but now…  He told me a story once, when we were on that long camping trip up in Rocky Mountain National Park."

          "What did he say?" Wilmington demanded, needing the man to get to the point.

          "He told me about a lake, a healing lake."

          "A healing lake?" Nathan echoed, his expression skeptical.

          "That's a load of–"

          "Let the man talk," Josiah said, interrupting Buck's tirade before it even began.

          Ezra took a deep breath and said, "You have to remember, I didn't want to be on that trip.  I wasn't paying that close attention…  I think he said it was in this area… It was something about a magical lake that heals injured animals… there was a dog…  I just don't remember the details, but I'm sure this is where it was supposed to be.  It happened while he was living with his grandfather.  That much I am sure of."

          "But that was just a story, right?" JD asked.

          "No, I don't believe so, not to Mr. Tanner," Ezra argued.  "He was convinced he'd found the lake when his dog – or maybe it was his grandfather's dog – was hurt."

          "He told you that?" Nathan asked.  "That he saw it heal this dog?"

          Ezra nodded.  "I think so, yes.  It is my considered opinion that Mr. Tanner has gone to try and find this miraculous lake from his childhood memories, in an attempt to heal Mr. Larabee."

          The others exchanged worried glances.  They all knew Vin had some interesting connections to the land, and to both the Comanche and Kiowa peoples, even if they weren't too sure what they all were, or how they had come to be.

          "You don't think he could really do something like that, do you?" JD asked the others.

          Surprising everyone, Nathan shrugged and said, "Given the options we have… I hope to hell he can.  I mean, you all heard the doctor; there's no hope.  Chris is as good as dead."

          "Brothers, we all know how close Vin and Chris are…"  Josiah looked down, knowing better than the others just how close that really was.  "If Vin felt he had to do this, whether or not it works, then it's for the best…"

          "Look," JD said, mostly to Buck, who still seemed determined to fight the idea, "if it works, great, and if not–"

          "Then we're right back where we were to begin with," Nathan cut in.

          Buck stood, his hands on his hips, as he studied the men.  They were willing to give Vin the benefit of the doubt…  And God knew the man had his moments.  "So, what do we do?" he asked them.

          "Like Mr. Sanchez said, we wait," Ezra replied.  "If there has been no news by first light…"

          "We go looking for them," Nathan finished.  "We might not be able to save Chris, but we might be able to save Vin."

          "Don't count on that," Josiah replied quietly.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Thursday, 0700 Hours

 

          Vin woke first.  Rolling over, he stared out at the empty field of prairie grass, shimmering brown and gold in the dawn light.  With a frustrated grunt, he rolled back and sat up.  His eyes widened with shock at the sight that greeted him.

          Chris was struggling to untangle the gauze encasing his head.  "Don't just sit there," he growled at Vin, "come help me.  And where the hell are we?  What happened?"

          Vin felt the smile tugging painfully at the corners of his mouth.  Standing, he walked over to Larabee and knelt beside him.  Using his small field knife, he helped cut the bandages free.  Beneath them, the man's dark blond hair lay pressed against his skull, lank and a little matted.  Vin could see no signs of any kind of an injury.

          "Vin," Chris said, looking around again, "where are we?"

          "Uh, Colorado," he replied, adding as an afterthought, "close t' the Oklahoma border, I think… maybe over it."

          "Oklahoma?"  Larabee twisted to look back over his shoulder, expecting to see a road, or something.  "Why?"

          Vin opened his mouth to speak, then closed it.  Open.  Close.  Open.  He'd have to explain it now, wouldn't he? _Oh, shit_.  _Oh, damn.  Damn, damn, damn_.

          "Vin?"

          "Uh," Tanner replied, looking anywhere but at Chris, "you, uh, you were, uh… hurt."

          "Hurt?" Chris echoed.  The last thing he remembered was… what?  He thought for a moment.  The hothouse!  Yeah, that was it.  There had been an explosion and he'd gone inside… found the bulbs with the grenades hidden in with them… and… and…  "The booby trap?" he asked.  "It went off…"

          Vin nodded.

          "But why am I out _here?_ "  He looked around the countryside.  It was beautiful in its own unique way, but he knew for a fact that explosion hadn't thrown him all the way out here.

          "I, uh…  I brought you."

          "You–?"  Chris' eyes narrowed.  "Where are the others?"

          "Uh, Chris, listen, why don't we just worry 'bout gettin' y' back right now, okay?"

          "But I–"

          "Please?" Vin implored him.  He reached out to tenderly cup the side of Chris' face in the palm of his hand.  Larabee had never looked better, in his opinion.  "I swear, I'll explain it t' ya later."  He leaned forward and gently kissed the man's lips.

          "Uh, all right," Chris conceded when the kiss ended.  He stood with some help from Vin, then stretched, feeling better than he had in recent memory.  A glimmer from the corner of his eye piqued his curiosity.

          He walked over to the edge of the field and blinked, an unsettling vertigo washing over him.  He rubbed his eyes.  The effect reminded him of a picture he'd seen once – one that shifted from a human skull to a woman, brushing her hair.  He could swear that, if he looked just right, he'd see a lake instead of a field.  "Vin?"

          "Yeah?"

          "What is this place?"

          "Uh…"

          "Vin…?"

          Tanner dug through his field kit, pulling out the condensed meals he'd put there.  "Damn it, Chris, I told y' I'd tell y' later."

          "Just tell me what it is."

          "Aw, hell…"  He huffed out a sigh.  "It's an enchanted lake."

          "An enchanted lake?" Larabee echoed.

          "Hungry?" Tanner asked, holding out one of the meals.

          Chris thought for a moment, then answered.  "Yeah, I am.  Very."  He sounded surprised.

"Here," Vin said, handing him a small olive-drab plastic bag.

          "Thanks."

          "We c'n eat while we walk back," Vin said, turning and starting away.

          "Back?  Back where?" Chris asked him.

          "Back t' the camper."

          "Camper?  Vin–"  But the man was getting too far ahead to carry on a conversation.  He hurried to catch up with him.  "How far is this camper?" he asked as Vin continued along, his gaze on the ground.

          "'Bout ten, maybe twelve miles, I'd guess."

          "Twelve miles?"  Chris stopped, his mouth hanging open.  What in the world was going on?  He jogged to catch up to his companion again.  "Vin, how'd we get all the way out here?"

          "I carried ya."

          "You carried–?  Vin, your shoulder!  You–"

          Tanner stumbled to an abrupt stop.  "It's– It's… fine."

          "Fine?"  Jesus, why was he repeating everything Vin said?

          "Fine."

          "Vin, what the hell is going on?"

          "For cryin' out loud, Chris, it's a beautiful mornin', can't we just enjoy it?"

          Larabee couldn't disagree with the assessment.  And Vin really didn't look like he wanted to talk, just the opposite, in fact.  "All right, but I want some answers."

          "Yeah, I know…just ain't sure I got any."

          Chris frowned.  Vin looked like he'd just seen a ghost.  He looked back at the pile of discarded bandages and swallowed hard.  Then he turned and hurried to catch up with Vin.  Reaching out, he grabbed the man's arm and stopped him.  "I was…  I was bad, wasn't I?"

          Vin hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded.  "Yeah."

          "You brought me all the way out here…"  He frowned, more fragments of memories coming into focus – floating above his body in a hospital… the sound of someone – him? – screaming in pain…  "Was I… dead?"

          Vin's face paled more.  "Not 'xactly."

          "But close enough, right?"

          Tanner nodded, his eyes getting shiny.

          He was dead, or as good as dead, and, somehow, Vin had saved his life…  Chris stepped closer, then reached out and wrapped the younger man in a hug that was immediately returned, fiercely, desperately.

          "Whoa, easy," Chris said quietly, "I'm okay now."  He felt Vin nod.  "And you are, too, aren't you?"

          Another nod.

          Chris squeezed him a little harder and then released him.  He met the man's wet eyes.  "How are we going to explain this?"

          "Beats the hell outta me," Vin managed, then snorted out a laugh and tried to smile.  "Don't really care," he added, reaching out to grab hold of Larabee again.  "Just knew I couldn't lose ya."

          Chris tightened his grip on the younger man, holding him as the tears finally broke free and Tanner choked out a sob.  He stood there, holding Vin until the emotional storm passed.  Then the sniper pulled back, wiped his face, and said, "We better go."

          Chris nodded.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Thursday, 1500 Hours

 

          "There!" JD shouted when he saw Chris and Vin appear around the end of a hill.

          "Oh my Lord," Ezra breathed, coming to his feet as well.

          "I'll be damned," Buck muttered, his eyes going wide.

          But Josiah just glanced up at the heavens and grinned.  "Thank you, Lord.  Thank you."

          Nathan didn't say a word, just stalked out to meet the two men, performing a quick check on both of them.  When he was done, the three of them walked the rest of the way over to join the others.

          "They're fine," Nathan announced a moment later.

          Josiah stepped forward and gave Vin a quick, but heartfelt hug.  "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, son, couldn't you tell us what you were planning?"

          "Sorry," Vin replied.  "It was a… last-minute decision."

          Josiah snorted and shook his head.  He turned to Larabee.  "Chris, you're looking a whole lot better than the last time I saw you."

          "And how'd I look then?" he asked, curious and confused.  "Vin's been pretty close-lipped on the subject."

          "Uh," Ezra hedged, "I think that's need-to-know, Mr. Larabee."

          "Well, I need to know!" Chris almost bellowed.

          "Later, Chris," Buck said, his voice soft and low.  He walked over and gave his oldest friend a hug of his own.

          "That bad?" Larabee asked, just loud enough for Wilmington to hear.

          The ladies' man nodded.

          The men walked over to where a ranger and patrolman waited for them.  With the two missing men found, it was all over as far as they were concerned.  Once they were gone, Chris and Vin walked over to the pickup, the others climbing back into their vehicle.

          The drive back to Springfield passed in silence for all of them.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Thursday, 1830 Hours

**Springfield** **, CO**

 

          Vin sat stiffly on a gurney in the hospital examination room while the doctor checked his shoulder over for the third time.  "Well?" he finally asked impatiently.

          "I can't find anything," the man said.  "As far as I can tell, your shoulder's fine and you're perfectly healthy.  In fact, I'd say you're in better shape than the majority of young men your age."

          Vin shifted uncomfortably.  "Thanks, Doc."

          "I don't understand this.  The records we received from the hospital in Denver list several old injuries – gunshot to the left shoulder, knife wound to–"

          "I'm familiar with the list, Doc," Tanner interrupted.

          "Yes, well, there are no signs of any of those injuries, Mr. Tanner.  In fact, there's nothing at all except for a faint scar across your lower back.  I can't explain any of this, and sure as hell don't understand it."

          "But m' shoulder's fine?"

          "Yes, your shoulder's fine."

          "That's all I need t' know," Vin said, pushing himself off the gurney and grabbing for his flannel shirt.

          The doctor shook his head, but he left.

          Vin dressed quickly, then headed back to the waiting room to kill time until he got some news on Chris.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

## Thursday, 1845 Hours

 

          The five men hurried into the hospital waiting room, their gazes seeking out the lone occupant.  The comfortable furniture and subdued colors surprised them.  They found him standing near a corner, leaning against the wall and staring out a large picture window.  They crossed the thick carpet, joining him in the rapidly fading light of dusk.

          "Vin?" Josiah called quietly.

          Tanner turned to face them and Nathan took an immediate step backward.  Vin was… different somehow.  His eyes narrowed as he studied the younger man.  Vin looked well-rested; his eyes were bright and there were no dark circles beneath them.  This was a marked improvement over the last time they had seen him at the hospital in Denver, or out there in the wilderness.

          _When was Denver?_ Nathan wondered.  _Two days ago?_   Had everything really happened that fast?

          The stress lines around Vin's eyes and mouth were gone, too.  And he was definitely more relaxed, moving more fluidly…  "Your shoulder," he said suddenly.  "How is it?"

          "Fine," Vin replied, quickly turning back to the window.

          Reaching out to the man, Buck rested a hand on his arm.  "Why didn't you tell us where you were going?"

          Tanner's head dipped.  "There was no time," he explained quietly, the words haunted by his fear of what might have been.  "He was dyin'.  There was nothin' anyone could do.  I thought…"  He trailed off, shaking his head.  "There was one more possibility, but I didn't want t' raise anyone's hopes.  It was… impossible."

          "Vin, we've all seen you pull off the impossible a time or two.  You know we probably would have gone along with what you wanted," Josiah told him.  "You should've known that."

          Vin shifted his weight enough to meet the big man's eyes.  "It was somethin' I had t' do alone, J'siah."

          "Why here?" JD asked, looking around at the facility.  "I mean, where did you take him?" he asked, wanting to hear Vin explain the legend Ezra had told them about.  Was it really possible?  Could something like that still happen in the modern world?

          Vin's lips pressed into a thin line, telling JD he wasn't getting an answer.  At least, not right now.

          "Never mind," JD said, leaning forward to give him a quick hug.  "I'm just glad you're both okay.  You are okay, aren't you?"

          Vin's cheeks and ears turned a darker shade of red.

          "Vin?" Nathan questioned.

          He nodded.  "I'm fine."

          "We returned the camper," Josiah said, "and the forest service is happy, now that they don't have two lost hikers to deal with."

          Vin nodded, glad that the men apparently had taken care of everything.  He could vaguely remember them finding him and Chris out there, but it was all a little blurred in his memory right now.

          "Vin," Buck said, taking a step closer to the man, "Ezra said you told him about some kind of a magical lake…  Is that where you took Chris?  It worked?"

          Vin looked up at the big ladies' man, wondering why he felt so damn tired.  "Uh, I…  I think so," he replied.  Damn, it felt like he was drunk… or high…

          "Has the doctor finished with Chris?  Are they keeping him?" Nathan interjected.

          Vin opened his mouth to reply, but a voice cut him off.  "The doctor says I'm just fine – one hundred percent perfectly healthy.  No injuries."

          The others turned to watch Chris walk up and join them, their own memories of finding the two men striking them all as slightly dreamlike.  But here they were, alive and whole and apparently unhurt.  It just wasn't possible.

          Chris saw the disbelieving looks on the faces of his team and he offered them a small grin.  "Hell, I can't explain it, either, but this time I think I'm just going to say 'thank you' to whoever or whatever's responsible, and leave it at that."

          "Probably the wisest course of action… given the circumstances," Ezra said, his gaze shifting between the two men.  "Perhaps the doctors at Summit will have more light to shed on this… wonder."

          "Tomorrow," Chris said.  "Right now, I just want a thick steak and a soft hotel bed."

          The others agreed, even Vin, who suddenly felt ravenous.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          The hearty meal the men shared passed quickly and with little conversation, all of them going out of their way to avoid talking about what had happened.  Instead, they focused on Brubaker and what he might be planning, which suited Vin just fine.

          Throughout the entire meal, Tanner covertly watched Chris from the corner of his eye, reveling in every smile, scowl and snort the man offered.  It felt so good to just watch him, moving, talking, eating, arguing…  It was a miracle, really.  One he didn't understand, but one for which he was wholeheartedly grateful.

          And, when they finished their meals, they drove over to the hotel, taking four rooms for the night.  Buck and JD were across the hall from Josiah and Nathan, who were next door to Chris and Vin, with Ezra next to them on the other side.

          They lingered in the hallway, none of them seemingly ready to leave the company of the others, but then Nathan caught sight of Vin staggering slightly and he ordered them all to their beds.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          Once safely inside their room, Vin suddenly felt a little shy, and the feeling wasn't helped by the looks Chris was giving him.  The man's expression wasn't easy to read, and that made Vin more than a little uncomfortable.  Was he mad?  Curious?

          He really didn't want to know.  He dipped his head, saying, "Gonna go, uh, get ready…"  And he fled into the bathroom, pulling the door closed behind him.  Things still weren't tracking right, and he was getting that drunk feeling again.

          "So, you going to tell me what happened?" Larabee finally asked after Vin emerged from the bathroom, ready for bed.

          Vin drew a deep breath and walked over to one of the two double beds in the room, climbing onto it and sitting cross-legged in the center of the mattress.  He looked at Larabee, still marveling at what he was seeing:  Chris, alive and well.  He really ought to just tell the man what he knew and get it over with.

          "Well?" Larabee prompted, his expression almost amused.

          Vin took another deep breath and started talking, beginning with the day at the hothouses and ending with when Chris woke up in the middle of nowhere, leaving out the magical lake.

          Larabee remained quiet throughout the entire tale, but when Vin fell silent, he cleared his throat and said, "So, let me get this straight:  they said I was… brain-dead…"

          "Uh, more or less," Vin replied, his gaze locked on the pattern of the bedspread.  It reminded him of the play of light on the surface of the lake…

          "Sounds more like more than less."

          Tanner shrugged.  "Must've been a glitch with their machine…"

          "Okay, let's go with that.  But, I was apparently brain-dead, and you decided to… what, take me on vacation to a national park?"

          Vin nodded, still not looking up to meet the man's eyes.  In his mind he could see the lake, the birds…  It sounded crazy, and it was… had been.  But it had worked, right?

          "Why?" Larabee asked him.  "Why there?"

          Vin hesitated, then blinked and said, "Guess I reckoned ya'd rather die out there…"

          "Vin, there's plenty of wilderness in our own backyard," Chris said.  "Why'd you bring me all the way out _here?_ "

          Tanner chuffed to himself, a half-drunk smile appearing on his face.  "Kind 'a crazy, huh?" Vin agreed, reaching out and plucking at a loose thread on the bedspread.  He knew Larabee wasn't buying a word of it.  But that was fine.  He just didn't know how to tell the man the truth.  "Guess I wasn't thinkin' real clear."  _Still ain't_ , he added silently.

          "How do you explain your shoulder?"

          "Uh," Vin said, "guess the docs was wrong 'bout that, too… weren't nearly as bad as they thought…"

          Chris stayed where he was, sitting on the edge of the second bed, thinking about how he was going to explain all this to AD Travis and deciding he was only going to try after he and the man had shared a stiff drink… or two… or maybe three… But, there were some facts that couldn't be disputed.  One, he was alive.  Two, he'd been given a clean bill of health from a physician – was in "perfect health," according to the man, in fact.  Three, Vin had also been given a clean bill of health by a doctor, something he would have sworn would be impossible, given the recent injury the man had sustained in the line if duty.

          So, here they were, both of them just fine…  And Vin was determined to evade every question he asked about how he'd managed to pull off this pair of miracles.  Well, fine… he had other options…  And, right now, he wasn't feeling in the mood to play fair…  Chris pushed off the edge of the bed and climbed onto the one where Vin sat.

          Tanner saw him coming, too.  He frowned slightly, thinking Larabee looked like some kind of big cat that was suddenly stalking him.  That brought back the memories of the mountain lion tracks he'd seen near the lake…  He giggled slightly.  It was real.  It was really real.  He'd never been sure.  He'd just been a kid that first time, his mind filled with his grandfather's stories about it…  He could have dreamed the whole thing with Toby.  The dog could have found his way back on his own, only been slightly wounded…

          But Chris…  Chris was another matter.  He could remember all too well hearing the doctor declare Larabee brain-dead, or sitting there beside the man, listening to the machines, seeing the bandage…  He'd lost him.  He'd lost the first person he'd really loved since his mother and his grandfather…

          Chris stopped right next to him, looking straight into the man's eyes.  "Vin," he called.  "Vin, where the hell are you?"

          Vin jumped slightly and looked up.  "Whatcha doin'?" he asked, his voice a little tight.

          Chris didn't reply, he just leaned forward slightly, brushing a kiss over Vin's slightly parted lips, watching as the man's blue eyes dropped closed and a soft moan escaped his throat.

          "Oh God," Tanner gasped softly.  "Thought I'd lost ya, Chris…"

          Larabee redirected his attack, turning his head so he could take one of Vin's earlobes between his lips and tug on it.

          "Couldn't lose y' like that, Chris… just couldn't…" Vin gasped.  "Chris–"

          Larabee kissed the man again, cutting him off.

          Something inside Vin broke and he reached up, grabbing hold of Larabee and forcing him down onto the bed.  He was moving even as he did it, straddling the man's hips to pin him there to the mattress.  "Damn, Chris," he breathed, "thought I's gonna lose you…"

          Larabee looked up at the man, a little shocked to see the fathomless depth of love shining in the man's blue eyes.  Then that expression shifted, and Tanner was regarding him hungrily.

          He'd always known Vin loved him, but to see it laid bare like that…  He shivered.  He understood that kind of love, understood what losing it could do to a man, too.  But that was the last truly coherent thought he would have that night.

          Vin took over, making love to him with a ferocity that made rational thought impossible.  His body rode the waves of passion, crashing at last with his release.

          Then, after they could move again, they crawled into the second bed, together, each holding on tightly to the other, and fell asleep, only to be awakened the following morning by Josiah's knock on their door.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

**Friday, 0915 Hours**

**Denver, CO**

 

          "I have no earthly explanation for this," Dr. Randell stated, shaking his head.  "I've never seen anything like it, and, to be honest, wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

          That made Chris' eyes widen.  Somehow it was more real now – the depth of the miracle Vin had pulled off.  He'd looked back at the X-rays, studying the damage that had, for all intents and purposes, taken his life.  He had really been brain-dead… But he couldn't remember any light, or life review, or anything else he'd heard some people experienced when they died – and came back to talk about it.

          Maybe those memories had been wiped away, along with his injuries?  Not that it mattered.  He was just glad he was alive.

          But still, it sure as hell gave you something to think about.

          And, one way or another, he was going to get to the bottom of the truth.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

**Saturday, 1100 Hours**

 

          Vin heard Larabee's approach long before the blond found him sitting on the shore of the small lake.  He watched a bird gliding on the breezes blowing above the tiny waves and smiled to himself, thinking about Toby.  The friendly old dog had lived as long as his grandfather had…

          And, after a few years, their trip to the Healing Lake had become nothing more than a vague dream to him, but it hadn't been a dream.  It _had_ happened, just like the trek with Larabee had happened.  And this time, he had the missing scars to prove it.

          Chris walked down to the shore, taking a seat on the ground next to Tanner.  "Vin, I think it's time we talked."

          Tanner nodded, knowing he wouldn't be able to escape, not this time.

          "So talk, tell me what happened out there.  The truth this time."

          "I don't know," Vin said, looking out at the water and wishing that Chris didn't know him so well that he'd come looking for him here.

          "Vin…"

          "I'm not trying t' be a pain in the ass 'bout this, Chris.  I honestly can't explain what happened out there."

          Larabee nodded, hearing the truth in the man's voice.  "I talked to the doctor again this morning.  And to Nathan… he went over the X-rays with me…  I was royally fucked."  He reached up, rubbing absently at his forehead.  "When all is said and done, I was as good as dead."

          Vin nodded.  It was true.  "I wouldn't've tried somethin' so…"

          "Desperate?"

          "Crazy, but that's close enough."

          "I called Josiah…  He's been trying to figure this out, too.  He told me a story about an ancient healing lake that the Comanche believed in…  You said your grandfather worked with them…  That's where you took me, isn't it?"

          "Yeah," Vin said on the end of a long sigh.  It was a shame that his friends were so blasted smart.

          "But how'd you find it?" Larabee asked, his curiosity rising.  "I mean, it's just a legend, right?"

          "M' grandfather told me the story 'bout it when I was just a little kid… said the lake was out in the grasslands, so the wounded animals and warriors could find it when they needed it…  When they said y' was– So that's where I took ya."

          "But you had to know where you were going, right?  I mean, that area out there is huge!  It could've been anywhere."

          "Prayed I did," Vin said quietly.  There was no getting out of it now, so he took a deep breath and told the man Toby's story.

          Chris leaned back on his elbows when Vin was finished, his head tilting back as he squinted up into the clear blue sky above them.  "I've never believed in much of anything… especially things that are impossible–"

          "Chris," Vin said, trying to make peace with the events himself.  "This is… special.  It's a matter 'a faith.  Maybe the doctors were just wrong.  Maybe y' weren't hurt as bad as they thought y' were, or maybe I really did find a magic lake.  It don't really matter.  What does is, you're all right.  I love y', Chris, I would've done damn near anythin' t' make sure I didn't lose ya."

          That sent a blush racing across Larabee's cheeks, but he nodded.  "And you're all right, too.  That's what's important to me.  The rest…  Hell, maybe this was all some kind of collective nightmare we got caught in somehow."

          Vin grinned, looking a little sheepish.  "This isn't leadin' t' some 'a that 'I'm Okay, You're Okay' shit, is it?"

          Larabee chuckled.  "No.  Just tell me the truth:  that lake healed you, too, didn't it?"

          "I guess so.  M' shoulder's fine now, and it was busted all the hell up when I took y' out of the hospital.  Didn't think I was gonna make it there for a while, carryin' ya…"

          Chris shook his head.  "Damn, Tanner, you _carried_ me out there, with that busted shoulder, looking for a _magical_ healing lake?"

          "What I had t' do.  Wasn't nothin' else, and I couldn't–"

          "I know," Chris interrupted.  If he'd been in Vin's shoes, he would have done anything he could think of to save the man, too.  "Could you do it again?"

          Vin opened his mouth to answer, then shut it and shook his head.

          "Even if one of the others got hurt, or me?"

          "Damn, Larabee, you're just beggin' for trouble now."

          "But if they were, if _I_ was, would you try it again?"

          "Depends…"

          "So you think you _could_ find it."

          "I didn't say that!"

          Larabee sat forward, smiling at Tanner's embarrassment.  "Vin, if I've never said it before, you're a damned amazing man."

          Vin's blush deepened and he looked away, but Larabee could see his ears had turned deep crimson, too.  There was something else going on here, but he wasn't sure what.

          "What's really bothering you about this?" the blond probed.

          "What makes y' think something's botherin' me?"

          "Oh, call it a hunch," Chris said with a small grin.  Vin could never hide the truth from him; it was always right there in his eyes.

          "Can't y' just be grateful y' ain't dead and leave it at that, y' ungrateful bastard?" Vin grumbled under his breath.

          "Nope.  What is it?"

          Vin drew in a long, deep breath and silently counted to ten.  _He's just tryin' to help me_ , he reminded himself.

          "Vin?"

          "It's the scars," he finally admitted quietly.

          "The scars?" Larabee echoed, frowning.  "I don't understand."

          Vin pushed himself to his feet and walked off several paces.  He turned to face the blond.  "Damn it, Chris, I got _medals_ and _commendations_ for some 'a those scars!"

          "And now they're gone… so… it's like you haven't earned them?" he guessed.

          "The medals ain't got nothing t' do with it… not exactly, anyway…  All right, damn it, I took _you_ out there.  It was _you_ the lake was supposed to heal, not _me_."

          "Why?"

          "Because!"

          "That doesn't answer the question, Vin."

          Vin rested his closed fists on his hips.  "I don't walk the kind 'a path that should've let me– I ain't a holy man, Chris.  Hell, I ain't even a Comanche, just got a little Kiowa on my mom's side and my grandpa worked with the Comanche."

          That prompted a chuckle from Larabee.

          "It ain't funny!" Vin snapped.

          "No, it's not funny…  Vin, faith… it's a sacred thing," Chris told him, enjoying the way Tanner's accent thickened whenever he got upset – or they made love.  "I guess the Spirits, as you call them, knew you believed, knew you wanted to help someone you loved.  Maybe that was all they needed."

          "Maybe," Vin allowed, but then he turned imploring eyes on Chris and asked, "How the hell am I gonna explain this t' Dr. Chandler?"

          Larabee started to reply, but then realized he didn't have an answer.  "I– I don't know."

          "Well, neither do I, and y' know he's gonna grab hold of this like a dog with a bone."

          The blond smiled.  "That's the real problem, isn't it?"

          "Chris…"

          "You're embarrassed!" he said, a smile erupting across his face.  "You're embarrassed because the lake found you worthy–"

          "I am _not_ embarrassed!  I just don't want t' have t' explain this t'– t'– t' every damned doctor I see fer the rest 'a m' life!  I can't!  I don't _have_ an explanation!"

          Larabee stood and stepped up next to Vin, wrapping his arm around the man's shoulders and giving him an affectionate squeeze.  "Well, I suppose we could always classify this under a federal 'need to know' banner…"

          "Damn it, Lar'bee, they're gonna say they need t' know."

          "Probably right."

          "But they're never gonna believe me."

          Larabee's smile widened and his eyes danced with amusement.  "Ezra left a message on my voicemail.  He suggested that we tell anyone who asked that aliens did it…"

          Tanner's blue eyes narrowed.

          "Hey, it was just a suggestion."

          "Sounds more like something JD'd come up with."

          Larabee smiled, deciding not to tell him what JD and Buck had come up with…  He stopped and faced his lover.  "Vin, I really don't care.  We're both alive, we're both healthy, and that's all that matters…  Thank you."

          Tanner stared down at his feet.  "Just what someone who loves y' is supposed t' do."

          Reaching out, Chris squeezed Vin's shoulder again.  "No, pardner, that was above and beyond."

          Vin grinned at that.  "Naw, that was what happened in that hotel room…"

          And then it was Chris' turn to blush.

          "Gettin' a hankerin' to try a repeat performance," Tanner purred.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

          The two men both drove back to Larabee's ranch, parking side by side in the driveway and heading inside.  They didn't exchange a word; there was no need.

          They walked straight back to the bedroom and undressed before climbing onto the bed.  The curtains were drawn, the midday light reduced to a faint glow at the edges of the dark material.  But it was enough for them to see each other as they explored one another, slowly, carefully, each learning the new feel of the man he loved – the smooth skin where once there had been the pucker of damaged tissue, or the raised line of a long-healed scar.

          There were no blemishes now, no old wounds, apparently.  And already they had both noticed the lack of stiffness in their joints, the missing aches and pains that life and time had dealt them.  It was as if they were brand new, and made for one another.

          Their first climax came rather quickly, a result of hands touching, grasping, demanding…  And bodies, sliding over one another, pressing…

          A discarded T-shirt removed their spilled seed from their chests and bellies, and they returned to their exploration, which was now more careful, more slow and loving.

          Their arousal built a little at a time, driven by long kisses and teasing fingers, but neither man surrendered, domination shifting from one to the other, until, finally, Vin rolled onto his stomach and spread his legs, giving himself over to the man he'd risked his own life to save.

          And Chris was more than happy to accept his surrender, climbing between his legs and reaching for the liquid KY that sat on their nightstand, ready for use.

          He squeezed the slick liquid onto his fingers and rubbed it into the crack of Tanner's ass, delighting in the way the man's hole contracted each time he brushed over it.  A little more of the lubricant and his aching cock was ready to go, but he knew he had to prepare Vin first.

          He sank one finger into the hot, tight passage without warning, prompting a gasp from the man, who immediately pressed his hips up, trying to force the invading digit in deeper.  "C'mon," he growled, "want t' feel y' inside me…"

          "Soon as you're ready," Chris replied, twisting his finger as he slid it in and out, making Tanner moan and wiggle.

          "'M ready _now_ , damn it," was the half-choked reply as Chris pressed two fingers into his lover.

          "Nope," Chris replied, "don't think so…"

          "Bastard!" Vin barked as Larabee jabbed his fingers in as far as they'd go and ground his fist against Tanner's ass.

          That prompted a laugh from the blond.  "Just gettin' started, too," he threatened, reaching out with his free hand to find and squeeze the sniper's balls.

          "Oh shit!" Vin yelped.  " _Chris_ …"

          He knew he was pressing his luck, and he released the man's balls and concentrated on stretching the tight pucker by scissoring his fingers open and closed inside the man's ass.

          "Chris, _please_ ," Vin begged, his hips lifting again.

          "Ya want me?" Larabee purred, leaning over Tanner's back to get close to his ear.

          "Yes," Vin moaned.  "Please…"

          "Ya want me inside of you?"

          "Y' damn well know I do, y' sonuvabitch!"

          "Mmm, ya want me to take ya, Vin?  Want me to fuck you?"

          "Want y' t' shut the fuck up and get yer cock in m' ass!"

          Larabee laughed, leaning back and withdrawing his fingers.  He grabbed hold of his cock with one hand and used the other to guide Vin's hips up off the bed.  Then he positioned himself and took a moment to rub his precome over the man's hole, teasing him one last time.

          "Goddamn it, Chris!" was the immediate cry.

          Larabee knew he couldn't wait any longer himself.  He pressed forward, his cock head sliding into Vin's ass.

          A pair of soft, satisfied moans filled the air.

          With his cock now anchored inside his lover, Chris reached down and gripped Vin's hips, his fingers pressing into the man's flesh as he slowly sank deeper into the tight heat.

          "Oh, Christ," Chris hissed through gritted teeth.  It was taking everything he had not to come there on the spot.  Tanner was so tight, and so hot… and his contracting muscles were massaging the entire length of his swallowed shaft.  It felt so damn good…

          "Chris…" Vin breathed, his hips pressing back, forcing the man in deeper.  "Need y' so bad…"

          Holding on to Tanner's hips a little tighter, he pulled back out a couple of inches, then thrust in, sinking deeper than he had been.

          "Yesss…" Vin hissed.  "Chriss…"

          Larabee's hips began to work.  He rode into the man, again and again, until he was pulling out all the way to his glans and then driving in all the way to the root of his cock.  Vin met his thrusts, his own hips driving up and jerking down, shifting the angle ever so slightly until Chris was knocking against that pleasure spot that made his entire body jerk and quake with a hunger so powerful he was afraid it might just strip away his sanity.

          Chris watched Vin's body as it shook with primal need.  Vin, he knew, was no longer in control.  He was lost, caught up in the sensations that would quickly bring him his release.  And he wanted to watch that release.  He loved the way the man's body writhed and thrashed under him…

          He pierced the man's body with hard, fast thrusts, feeling Vin's muscles beginning to spasm out of control.  They clutched at his cock like they were trying to drag all of him inside Tanner's body.

          "Chris!" Vin cried out, his head arching back, his hands reaching frantically for his own cock as his climax overtook him.  "Chris!  Ahhshhhitttt…"

          Larabee continued his assault on Tanner's ass, an almost feral smile curling his lips as he felt the man's orgasm carrying him over the edge. He could feel every contraction that sent Vin's seed shooting from his cock.  He could feel the muscles that clamped down on his own cock, trying to squeeze the come from the blond, but he was determined to enjoy the entire ride before he gave in to the inevitable.

          Vin's hips jerked wildly, testing Larabee's resolve, but he gritted his teeth and concentrated on the sensations he had loosed inside of Vin, stemming the tide of his own climax – for the moment.

          Eventually, Vin's body sagged as he was released from the grip of his orgasm.  He was sweating, sucking in air as he tried to catch his breath.  The muscles in his ass contracted a few more times, then stilled, although Chris could still feel a slight trembling playing over his aching length.

          And his cock did ache; his balls worse.  Both throbbed with each beat of his heart, but he waited until Vin's breathing began to return to normal before he started to move again.

          Vin moaned softly as Chris rubbed over his gland, sending waves of residual pleasure coursing through his body.

          It was easier for Chris now, and he took advantage of the pleasure-slacked muscles, driving himself in and out of Vin's hole with fierce abandon.  He growled, deep in his throat, feeling his own release approaching…

          He pulled Vin's hips up higher, leaning over his back and letting himself give in to the raw need to possess the man, to take what was being freely offered.

          His hips jerked savagely, but he couldn't help himself.  He had lost the control he'd had earlier.

          "Chris…" he heard Tanner whimper, his hips beginning to rock ever so slightly.

          He knew he was close; caught at that moment in some timeless second, he knew there was no escape.  But his body held him there, neither coming nor not coming…  He could feel his balls as they contracted… could feel the first pulse drawing up his seed, preparing it to flood Vin's ass… could feel his cock swell, then jerk, his first load bursting free, shooting into Vin…

          The sniper squirmed under him and he humped his hips hard against the man's ass, delivering shot after shot into the man's guts, each accompanied by a jerk of his hips and a noise that might have been words if he could have heard them past the roar in his ears.

          The grip of intense pleasure slowly released him, replaced by the glow of satisfaction as his cock continued to pulse.  But his balls were empty, of that he was sure.

          He panted, feeling the sweat rolling off his body, some of it falling to splatter across Vin's back and ass.  He held Vin's hips in place, waiting until the glow slowly faded into a languid warmth that seeped into his muscles and made his cells hum with contentment.

          Vin's eyes were closed, his body too sated to move, so he waited until Chris finally released him and carefully withdrew his cock from his ass.  He heard the man curse softly and knew it was because he was bleeding a little, but it didn't matter.  He felt too good to care.

          He wasn't sure if Chris actually cleaned him up or not, but, the next thing he remembered, he was lying next to the man, his head on Chris' shoulder.  He listened to the beat of the man's heart.  It was the most beautiful sound he could ever remember hearing… right after that inarticulate cry the man made as he was coming.

          Vin reached up and shoved his hand under Larabee's shoulder, already drifting off to sleep.  He knew he'd wake soon enough, needing to pee, but for now he was content to let sleep claim him.

          As he drifted off, he could see the lake again, the water sparkling in the sunlight.  Toby was standing on the shore, barking, tail wagging…  Nearby, his grandfather stood, his arm around his mother's shoulders…

          He knew, somehow, that they couldn't approach the lake like Toby, but that he and Chris could.  Still, they were smiling at him, like they knew what had happened and they were happy for him…

          He hoped it was true.  When he looked back, the lake was gone, and it was Larabee's green eyes he saw.

          "You okay?" Chris asked, grinning down at the sleepy-looking man in his arms.

          Vin just smiled and nodded, a look of pure happiness in his blue eyes saying all that needed to be said.

          "Go back to sleep," Chris whispered.

          "Can't," came the slurred reply, "gotta take a leak…"

          Larabee nodded.  "You better do it in the bathroom, not in my bed."

          "Our bed," Vin corrected him.

          "Damn straight," was the loving reply.

 

 

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[1]  Vin's shoulder injury occurs in another story, "All Good Love," that hasn't yet been published yet.


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